Crossroads

Sometimes we find ourselves lost on a path we forged from as far back as we can remember. We are left wondering was it supposed to be this way? Can we find it within ourselves to be happy with this outcome? Is it okay to change course after so much time committed?
All these thoughts and more plagued Nesta as she trudged the the snowy banks of the mountains she has long since called her home. The gnawing hollow feeling in her gut satiated by nothing she fed it, be it food or logic. The emptiness remained.
All her life she worked hard for her goals and dreams and now she was at a crossroads. Where was she to go from here? The only way to know is to take a step forward. So she did, her head held high. Mustering whatever bravery and strength she had left. Sulking had never done anyone any good why should she succumb to it now. She was driven to an end her whole life, even if it's not the same goal in the long run. Even if she hasn't thought of where she wanted to go. She was here and could still make that choice for herself. It wasn't over yet.

Nesta let out a big huff as she kept pushing on. It had been hours since she took that first step. The uncertainty eating at her for her unplanned, unprepared for decision. It was foolish if her. Any semblance of control wiped out from under her. She could feel the spiral begin within herself. She had no one and nothing left to distract her from herself. From her hateful and resentful inner voice hacking away at her resolve. She was utterly and totally alone and it was all her fault. Her fault her fault her fault.
What was she doing? She was just making everything far worse. She should have never left. Worthless trash.
She let out a whimpered cry as the words settled in hitting their mark. No one could tear her down better than herself. She was a reckless fool. She halted her steps coming to a stop and stared up into the dark endless void of the now night sky. Not a star could be seen. Even those had abandoned her. She took a deep breath letting the icy air fill her lungs. Anything to pull her out from this feeling. This endless storm brewing and lulling as it pleased.

She stood there for only Ortus knew how long listening go the whirlwind inside her. She needed to keep going. To push forward yet again but this time it felt harder. She knew she had to but she felt heavy and immovable. Just rooted to the spot for all eternity. She couldn't even convince herself to turn back. Her breathing quickened as her heart began to race. Everything a blur as the panic over took her. The fear took over consuming her as the world world on its axis and then it all went black.